In 2001, I had the incredible opportunity to go to a monastery, called Taize, in France. I was 19, just a year out of high school. I knew I couldn't pass up the chance to go, since trips like that are sometimes once in a lifetime.
The week I was there, there were 2,000 people from all over the world. I was in a small group with people from Australia, Sweden, France, and the US.
Every day started with worship, followed by breakfast. We met with our small groups, had some free time, did our chores (each group had a chore assigned to them, such as serving a meal, clean up, etc.). After dinner each night we went to worship to end the day. All night was a time of silence, until worship the next morning.
2,000 people (mostly teens and young adults)....and not a spoken word. I don't know how, but it worked.
I'm not good with silence. My mind travels, and I never stay focused. But I absolutely loved this special time with God. It was during one of the times of silence after the evening service that I felt God calling me to go to Africa. I knew it was God because of the clarity and confidence in the "voice" from deep inside.
When I went home, I quickly got back into the routine of life. The feeling was still there, but I didn't let it be a priority.
That year I worked with Project Transformation at an after school program at Oak Cliff UMC. The pastor at the time was talking with one of my co-workers about their trip to Nigeria the previous year. I mentioned that call from God I got when I was at Taize. We talked more, and before I knew it, I was signed up to go to Nigeria in the summer of 2002.
We left not knowing when we would return, since the travel agent messed up our return flight. But we got on that plane with confidence that God would take care of us. And He did! It was an amazing journey. I learned so much, and my eyes were opened. I had multiple marriage proposals. We traveled on dirt roads, with potholes as big as a house. We shopped with an armed guard in an outdoor market. We visited an orphanage, where I wanted to just stay to love on all of the kids. I saw poverty beyond anyone's imagination. People living with our running water, electricity, toilets...all of the things we take advantage of here.
But they were joyful. They gave offerings at church while dancing and singing down the aisles. They thanked us for being there. They prayed for us. They hugged us.
That trip feels like a lifetime ago. It really was. It was before I met Ryan, got married, had kids...before life happened. I was so young, just 20 years old. I wanted to go back before I even got on the plane to go home.
But I never did.
When we started visiting our church in January, the lead pastor was in Kenya on a mission trip. That thought was still there, that feeling that never went away. I want to go.
Then a couple months ago, a church member went on a different trip to Kenya, and this time they mentioned that our church would be putting together a team to go next summer.
I want to go.
The voice, feeling, whatever you want to call it, was there again. But it was stronger this time. It still had the same clarity and confidence that I felt back in the chapel in Taize.
I start thinking about the can'ts and shouldn'ts.
We can't afford it. We should spend that money on other things we need.
Who will watch the kids while Ryan's at work?
What do I have to offer? I don't have medical, technical, or construction training.
Without missing a beat, God answered back...
We can't afford it. I will provide. Have faith.
Who will help with the kids? You have family and friends who love your kids and will help.
What do I have to offer? You have a servants heart.
This past Sunday, we had a guest speaker. His name is Stanley, and he's from Kenya. He talked about the needs at the Maua Methodist Hospital that he works at. After service, they had a casual meeting with him and Frank, our lead pastor, for those who might be interested in going to Kenya next summer.
So I went. I saw the cost of the trip, and once again, the doubts crept in. $5,000 is a lot of money. But we can't afford.....
But what? I will provide. Have faith.
So here I am. Trying to figure out how to make it happen. I trust God will provide a way, if this is where He wants me to go.
I'm not sure yet of details, and I haven't officially signed up. But I'm open to it. I'm praying about it. I'm trying to have an open heart and mind so we can make it work.
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth." --Acts 1:8
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?' Then I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" --Isaiah 6:8
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